A Poem ;

DopamineQueen

On last night’s episode of no sleep:

It’s weird making everyday decisions

When you wanted your everydays to be over

Like what to watch on the television

Or how much to drink so you won’t be hungover

Brush spit, eggs bacon, jeans t-shirt

Make this left, politely smile, wish it didn’t hurt

You see I wasn’t supposed to be here

I had a plan and a timeline and the means

Because death was never my fear

It was having to endure while coming apart at the seems

The first day of spring in an odd numbered year

I spent in a psych ward covered in tears

This isn’t what I dreamt of when I was little

How could I have known, while I was dressing my Barbies

My gowns would be made for hospitals

Not evenings proms or parties.

But here I am, still alive

Despite my efforts the odds and preceding nosedive;

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29 thoughts on “A Poem ;”

  6. Hi,

    First piece of yours I read. What stood out is where you write from. Its real. Its powerful. I like it. Thats why we have had the experiences, sometimes, what we see as bad at the time, yeah it was bad, but without ever experiencing it, how would we know? Alot of doctors dont know shit, they just think they do. I mean they know things theyve learned in school, and practice, but alot of what we go through stems from the spiritual realm, then we go to doctors who treat the physical… Does that make any sense? We go to doctors who treat the outside shell or layer/without them having any idea of the root cause because they have never been trained in the spiritual, so they slap labels on people amd calssify them, but what other choice do they have since there are no medicinal schools of spirituality. But there def needs to be.

    Liked by 2 people

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  7. This really got me! Especially the last few lines, it really drives home the message and it’s so tragic! Super glad I’m following you. 😭

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. I am a mental ill too, but I started with my ” problem” when I was 32. Actually i was fighting against depressions since I was 17 but luckly I was never in a mental hospital I did ot by my self and I could study, but when I was 32 could’ t deal with my depressions and I lost everything profession, a pregnant wife, possesions… Evefithing. Now the state pay me a paid a little one and I rent a room and I don’t have never money enough to smoke or do anything. I’ve been in a mental hospitales almost a year in last two years.I have a schizo affective bipolar disorder. I’ve decided not to take my pills I just take lithium when I feel I’m to much happy. What I am trying to tell you with all this shit is I understand you is too hard to be in a hospital which is the same as a prisson.

    Liked by 2 people

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