I may have fibbed

I told you all in my last post that I was ready to come back. Unfortunately I spoke too soon. Overwhelmed my self with all the manic things, and ended up in a behavioral health hospital for 6 days. I have a few things to say about my experience, but would love some support here getting started.

Have you been in a behavioral health hospital before? Tell me your experience please.

25 thoughts on “I may have fibbed”

  1. I have been in a mental hospital 3 times. I have written essays about my last experience. At one point, they were all posted on my blog.

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      1. This was on a group blog and didn’t fit with the rest of the blog. Your post actually reminded me why I had those posted. I’m opening up my own blog now and will be reposting them there. I am a firm believer on sharing my personal experiences with mental health. Hello I’m also Bipolar. And yeah, you know there are good and bad parts to opening up about it. I think the good outweighs the bad.

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      2. Being honest, especially with some of the crap the very ill person I used to be did, scared the hell out of me but feedback has been 99% positive. This is as safe a space as you’re going to find. We will support you

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  2. I ‘voluntarily’ committed myself to the UW Madison psych ward in 2006. ‘Voluntarily’ because they told me it would help get me out sooner if I improved and there would be less red tape – I was going in whether I wanted to or not; the nurse was just trying to make it easier on me. I was there because of a (Bipolar I, rapid cycling) mixed swing where I had the energy of mania and the pits of depression, and I tried to kill myself – I had no insurance, no way to afford my medications. I was there for a week, and I refused every group therapy they had despite their scolding and just sat in my room. We did get my meds improved, which was a huge help. I didn’t like being there – it was often very noisy, and if you didn’t come out soon enough they would steal your breakfast. All night they checked every half hour or so to see if you were okay still, and that made sleeping hard. But it did get me on the right track for meds, and I had a doctor who volunteered to see me for free and help me get a free supply of the new med. It was a pretty awful experience, but it turned out well, and now it makes for a funny story – we had some real characters in there!

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    1. The point being (hit enter too soon!) that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and it can be a huge help. I find nothing embarrassing about admitting I was there – I’m more embarrassed by the suicide attempt than the admittance. I don’t know how it all went down for you, but it isn’t something I would judge you for!

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  3. I haven’t but in some ways I wish I could get that kind of care. nov1 I responded to pressure at a new job with an emotional outburst & terminated. IT was traumatic that loss bc I loved that job, so I had a mental breakdown and came super super close to OD. I called for a med change and also help so I have DBT group twice a week. Thankfully we are ok $ wise for now so I can rebuild mentally. I’m very careful about going out, I volunteer at our senior center gift shop 4 hours a week on friday. I live in a 20,000 small town so I’m quite interested to learn what a behavioral hospital is and if it supported you at all. Thank you for your honesty, I’ve been honest this time and not caring what folks think. Its freeing. I wish you well. xox

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  4. Dear DQ,
    I have voluntarily admitted myself for manic symptoms many times. I think of it not as a failure but simply a course correction. I’m stronger because of it. It’s been four years since my last inpatient stay and I’m doing well. My best advice is self-care when you return home. Realize you’re still tender mentally and physically. Give your brain a chance to heal. I tried to shrug off the experience and regretted it later. Take your time. Your blog and audience will be here whenever you’re ready.

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  5. I’ve never actually followed through with the step to admit myself. When my mania was most severe and my cycles pronounced and occurring daily, I tried to do so, but unfortunately the place I went was… not good at all, so I left before full admittance.
    I’m so sorry you’re going through rough times, but I have to admit – I’ve missed your presence and words, and I’m happy to hear you’ll be coming back! Just don’t rush yourself. We’ll wait 🙂

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  6. My therapist convinced me to go to a behavioral health hospital to be assessed. I was acutely suicidal and was told, similarly to someone else who commented, that I could either sign myself into the unit voluntarily or be placed on a hold (3-day involuntary admission). I chose to admit myself voluntarily and ended up staying for 11 days because the staff weren’t comfortable letting me go and I didn’t want to trigger a hold by trying to leave. I have treatment-resistant depression, so the med changes and groups weren’t especially helpful, but it kept me safe until something could be figured out longer-term. When I was discharged, I immediately started a partial hospitalization program at a different hospital. Every weekday for two weeks I did group therapy, learned skills, and had meds managed from 9am to 3pm, then went home to sleep in my own bed. It was a good way to ease back into the real world after having no access to the internet and having only one hour to visit with friends and family per day. Ultimately, I think my hospitalization helped me in small ways, later. It was a step towards accepting my mental illness for what it is, and a step towards accepting help when I need it.
    I do hope you’ll share what you want to. I’d love to read it, but only when you’re ready! Wishing you strength and healing.

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  7. I voluntarily admitted myself when I was recovering from a serotonin toxicity. I wanted my doc (he was on rotation when I went in) to find the right meds quickly. I posted about it on my blog, am glad I shared. I echo earlier comments – be gentle and patient with yourself as you are still healing. We’ll be here!

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  8. Hello, Good to hear from you again in that you are writing and sharing. That can only be a ‘good’ thing as by opening up you have the power to help others at the same time as receiving support from your readers.
    I did not know what a behavioural health hospital is so looked it up (good old Google) and think it is a psychiatric unit or mental health hospital. And you’ve asked for others’ experiences.
    I’ll try to be concise – first admitted to mental hospital at 18 years (c 6 weeks); in psychiatric unit about 10 weeks later where I had ECT and change of meds (there for c 3 months); same year admitted to a therapeutic community. My last admission was about 14 years ago (age 54) and since then I’ve been supported by Crisis Resolution teams and outpatient clinics and groups.I’m still on meds for bipolar 1 and depression but no longer take anti-psychotics.
    Sometimes I’ve hated every second and at other times I felt it was the only solution for me. So many suicide attempts and using self-harm as a coping strategy I guess I wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for the support I received at my lowest times. I may have raged against it, tried to kick against the system; but I’m 69 years old now and I am still here. That’s a result.
    Advice? For me it was all about having ‘my things’ around me – Norman my soft-toy hedgehog, comfort blanket, art pads, pencils. I need to write and to draw to get the traumas out. Post-hospital? Much the same. Rage and rail against what’s going on /what’s gone on. Whatever your thing is. Loud music. Stomp and scream (think Lisa Minnelli under the railway bridge in Cabaret). Watch favourite movies. Mine’s always ‘Now Voyager’ or any other Bette Davis film. OK I admit it – I just don’t do ‘concise’.
    Bottom line? Be kind to yourself. Take time. Try not to hide from yourself.
    Sending love. We’ll all be here when you are ready. X

    Liked by 1 person

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